why i need my own shit


I have been an inspiring entrepreneur  since I was a kid. I have always dreamed off owning my own restaurant or hotel or  store —  something I could call my own. And working for other people makes me run faster and faster after my dreams. I have no problem answering to authority and I do so in a respectful way. But what I can’t take is answering to liars and assholes.

In my young life I have had two jobs. And between those two jobs I’ve had many managers/supervisors/assholes I have had to work for. I could write novels about the mangers at my old job but instead I’m only going to discuss the manger situation at my current job. Let’s just say I work at a grocery store something like Sam’s Club but not really Sam’s Club (Costco). And I have been working there for about 2 months. The store is brand new, half of the employees are transfers from different stores and the other half are new hires. The training process was a mess. The new hires in my position, which is cashiering/cashier assistant got about 15 minutes of training the day before the stores grand opening. We spent most of the weeks leading up to opening day wiping dust off the floor and lining up boxes. The only thing we learned how to do was properly lift a box from the bottom of a cart. We literally watched 3 videos with lifting techniques. I usually do the bridge lift but if I’m feeling fancy I do the golfer lift. Anyways, I know that I felt extremely unprepared to begin this new job because of the lack of knowledge about my position. I learned very quickly that asking for help from a veteran cashier was a big no no because most of them are extremely bitchy for what reason I don’t know. Like seriously your getting paid like $24 an hour to slide boxes across a scanner and a lot of them will claw your eyes out if you ask them what time it is. Asking a manager/supervisor for help isn’t too much better. Most of them act to busy to help you or they have a attitude as well. So you just will be lost lost until you fuck up bad enough for someone to actually pay you some attention.

Unlike all of the managers expectations this brand new store is slow as hell. Cashiers jump at people to come in their lines and each customer gets at least 3 people to help take stuff out of their carts. It’s that slow. Around the first couple of days I got scolded for “standing around”  because no one was in the line that I was assisting. I was then told to “clean up dust or something” …but I eventually learned that during the down times (which are very frequent) I am supposed to restock boxes, adjust boxes, wipe down counters, sweep up trash or organize the aisles closest to the registers. And ever since then I have done such. I’m very good at looking busy. I mean their honestly isn’t much to clean in an empty ass store that no one has shopped in that day, and their aren’t very many boxes to restock if no one is coming in and using the boxes and it makes no sense to wipe down counters/registers that no has even been on BUT I make “being busy” work.

After 30 days the new hires had our 30 day review. They took me in a merch closet and read some generic ass, copy and paste ass review for me. Pretty much saying that I need to act in a sense of urgency and I need to be more proactive. BS. Complete BS. And I can accept my wrongs but out of everything they could have called me out for not being “proactive” isn’t one of them. The review was very generic and not personal at all so I figured they were just saying shit just because they were required to give a review. But today, after my black ass had been outside pushing carts for 2 hours in this hot ass Texas heat. They called me in a wrote me up for not being “proactive”. I was shocked. The thing that made me so mad is that they couldn’t even give me a specific time when I wasn’t proactive. Like give me an example of what I was doing that ya’ll don’t want me to do. But no they read the same BS ass generic report to me with my name copy and pasted in the text.

I need my own shit. And I have no problem with authority but bullshit I can’t stand take. My black ass roasts daily in that damn parking lot. And then I go inside and run around that big ass store for some cheap ass muffins or nasty ass bagels because people can’t read signs. And I don’t need mangers to be consistently praising me BUT what you won’t do is try to call me out for some shit that does not fit my job performance. And that is the black ass bottom line. So tomorrow I am going to talk to management because right now I’m really not understanding. Like do they expect me to be doing cartwheels or magic tricks when no one is in the lines.   I don’t get it. I would rather be struggling with my own shit then make a nice amount of money working for assholes.

I am in the heat of the moment so I’m sure some of this is petty as hell but I’m angry dammit lol .


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